Influencers who Vlog from Their Cars | by Rock Star PR | Oct, 2023

Can I share a few thoughts on “influencers”—self-proclaimed prophets of the modern age, teaching us life’s great mysteries from the comfort of their… 2012 Honda Civics?

I mean, for crying out loud, it used to be that if someone was sitting in a parked car talking to himself, you’d call the cops or a therapist. Now, the guy is just “vlogging.” I remember when ‘vlogging’ meant you were hocking up something ugly from the back of your throat; now it means you’re about to drop some “life-altering” wisdom between sips of overpriced rancid coffee.

Let’s just break this down. Here you have grown adults—ostensibly — sitting in their cars, obediently with their seatbelts on—safety first—going on and on about whatever epiphany they’ve had that day.

“Hey guys, so today I realized that if you pair socks BEFORE you put them in the drawer, it saves you, like, SO much time!”

Oh, what would we do without you, O wise wonder? I mean, Da Vinci, Newton, Einstein—step aside, folks. The real geniuses are out here telling us about matching socks in their Ford Focus.

And here’s the best part: they always seem to be in a rush! It’s like they are too important for the favor of sharing their wisdom with you. “Okay GUYS, I’ve only got 8 minutes before I have to clock back into work—or, you know, my boss will give me a stern talking to—but I just HAD to share this with you.”

Listen, pal, if your life advice has a time constraint because of your 15-minute work break, maybe, just maybe, you’re not the guru you think you are.

But wait, it gets better!

There’s an entire cult of folks who religiously “follow” these car-confined philosophers. They like to be called “subs” for subscribers. It makes them feel included. So, picture this: Every day, thousands of people tune in to watch someone sit in her minivan and yap. It’s like a drive-in movie, but the movie is just her midlife crisis or her latest hair conditioner recommendation.

Remember 8 Prisoners, I mean Passengers? Thie idiocy is apparent.

I miss the days when cars were for driving. But now? It’s a damn studio apartment. With wheels. You got your lighting set up, a little microphone clipped to the sun visor, and—oh look!—there’s a sponsorship from some random company that makes artisanal seatbelt covers.

It’s the American dream, I suppose…

Did you ever think about the standards being set?

Back in the day, if you wanted to influence someone, you had to have some credibility. Credentials. Maybe even a degree! Now? All you need is a cellular connection, an overdue car loan, and the guts to broadcast your half-baked thoughts to the world.

Rain or shine, these fools are out there. It’s pouring buckets and all you hear is the rain slamming the roof while they’re trying to tell you how to manifest your dreams.

If I could manifest my dreams, I’d be on a beach somewhere, not watching Karen’s rainy car chat on the importance of gluten-free muffins.

Then there’s the ‘Like, Comment, and Subscribe’ brigade. “Don’t forget to smash that like button!” Listen, the only thing I feel like smashing is your head into a wall after watching five minutes of your Toyota TED Talk!

But, of course, there’s a silver lining to all this. You see, in a world where information is often deep, complex, and overwhelming, there’s something oddly comforting about knowing that there’s a dude out there who’s late for his shift at Arby’s because he’s teaching us how to properly fold a t-shirt.

In the end, I guess we all find our purpose. For some, it’s in a library, a lab, or on a stage. For others, it’s sandwiched between the driver’s seat and a steering wheel, racing against the clock, spewing wisdom one car chat at a time. But if this is the future of “influence”, well, folks, strap me in — preferably with one of those artisanal seatbelt covers. I’ve got some groundbreaking revelations about cleaning rings around the toilet to share.