Why Watching YouTube Makes Me Feel Like A Failure | by Alexandra Augustinsky | Sep, 2023

No matter what video I watch, I immediately have this feeling of “not being good enough.”

I often compare myself to others. Whether this be when YouTube watching videos, scrolling on social media and even when passing people on the street.

It’s something I’ve always struggled with although I know I’m not alone in that struggle.

I remember being thirteen and looking at the types of jeans girls around me wore and basing my worth on if my jeans matched theirs.

I know this is something that so many people struggled with during the complicated teen years and even now but something I don’t see talked about enough in my circles is the effect YouTube has on influencing all aspects of one’s life.

I watch a lot of lifestyle vloggers who share their day to day, their habits, what they’re eating, reading, watching, doing, loving etc.

A few weeks ago I was sort of hit with this realization that I was letting YouTube dictate my life. I was comparing myself to vloggers my age who have bought a house and are having children — making me feel behind in life. I realized that because someone mentioned a book they were reading, I felt like I needed to buy that book too.

While I know folks need to include sponsorships and promote products to make money, I felt like all around me I was being sold one thing or another.

The kinds of videos that really have started to irk me are “20 Must Buy Productivity Items” or “Here are my favorite products right now.” As I’ve mentioned before I try (emphasis on the try) to live a more minimal lifestyle. When I watch these videos because one of my favorite YouTubers has posted one, I feel like at times I’m watching an informercial.

What I’ve realized is that these kinds of videos are not for me. And also, maybe YouTube isn’t for me after all.

I’ve tried to make my own YouTube Channel, a few times actually. About 6 months ago I was trying to post a video regularly and made it up to about 20 subscribers.

While I noticed that I didn’t have the eye for videography, I also noticed that I was portraying the exact “image” that makes me feel bad about myself. The aesthetic grocery…